Things I Decided II

Again, feel free to peruse the phrases in bold and only read those that truly interest you.

1. All new Adam Sandler movies are not funny.

Do I dislike Sandler? No. I loved him in classics such as Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, and The Wedding Singer. The Wedding Singer actually gave us this classic song:



Recently? I heard Don't Mess With the Zohan was decent. But The Longest Yard should never have been remade, and 50 First Dates was...well, you get the point. Sandler needs to bring his glory days back to the big screen.

My statement was too harsh. But please, Adam. I know you're better than this.

2. UNKLE's "Rabbit in Your Headlights" video is incredible.

The song itself is good. But you really have to watch the video to truly appreciate it. Again, record labels have prevented me from embedding it here. Instead, you will see perhaps the most important (and controversial) frame:


You can watch it here. Simply click the "video" section, and then hover your mouse over the list until it scrolls down to "Rabbit in Your Headlights". Then click, and enjoy.

3. Center Daniel Briere's contract with the Philadelphia Flyers is completely unnecessary.

No, I couldn't stay away from hockey for too long. However, Briere was signed after the abysmal season of 2006-07, where the Flyers finished last in the NHL and set a franchise record for the worst winning percentage. Once free agency started, agressive general manager Paul Holmgren gave Briere a 8 year, 52 million dollar contract.


Great. Number one center for the Flyers. Had a 90+ point season once. Good signing.

No. Mike Richards and Jeff Carter have matured into the number 1 centers they were supposed to become. Both of Briere's seasons have been disappointing. He has underproduced (97 points over two seasons), partially thanks to his new love for injuries (108 games of a possible 164).

There aren't too many ways for me to put this. Carter is a better goal scorer than Briere, and while Richards may not be as good of a playmaker as Briere is, his defensive game is infinitely better than Briere's. Okay, so Briere's presence there "gives the team another weapon": a 6.5 million dollar a year weapon that's usually hurt and is afraid to battle for the puck in the corners.

Of course, if Briere can deliver either in this year's playoffs or next season, I'll shut my mouth (and secretly pray that the Flyers trade him while they still can).

4. Sean Avery is a class act.


Marty Brodeur thinks so.

5. The Verve are underrated.

Primarily known in the U.S. for "Bitter Sweet Symphony", this band really doesn't get enough credit. It didn't help that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones actually got all the songwriting credits for the song, regardless of everything lead singer Richard Ashcroft contributed. That being said, the video is phenomenal:




Here's another one of my favorites, called "Lucky Man":



6. Family Guy's take on Cookie Monster is hilarious.

Here's two clips. If it doesn't work for you on your computer...you have to find time to watch them somehow.








7.The best Sour Patch Kids are the red ones.

Here is my hierarchy:

1. Red
2. Orange
3. Green
4. Yellow


Red are delicious. And let's face it. What was the last quality candy you had that was lemon flavored?

If you're curious, the Starburst hierarchy is extremely similar:

1. Red
2. Pink
3. Orange
4. Yellow

Hmmm...there's a pattern here...

Blue raspberry and watermelon Sour Patch are delicious as well.

8. Being an NFL kicker would be a fun job.

Think about it. All you do is kick at practice. And you get paid plenty of money. Sure, you have to be able to handle a lot of pressure. But think about it. If you're one of those people that's able to take a deep breath, relax, and do what needs doing, then kicking in a high-pressure situation shouldn't be much trouble (assuming you can kick at all).

Okay, some people will make the argument "Your teammates won't respect you because you aren't as tough as them or as blah blah blah blah blah." Some of that may be true. But the difference between a competent kicker and an incompetent kicker can be a massive one. They know that when the ball lies on the 30, the team is down by 2, and it's the last play of the game, you have a lot of pressure on you to score. But they also know you're the only that can win the game at this point. Could someone call a kicker a wimp? Maybe. However, his importance should never be underestimated.

My best example of how a kicker matters? January 27, 1991. Giants: 20, Bills:19. 4th quarter. 8 seconds on the clock. Bills' kicker Scott Norwood attempts a 47 yarder, which sails wide right. Bills lose.

9. Jon Stewart's America (The Book) is funnier that Stephen Colbert's I Am America (And So Can You!)

No, I am not arguing Stewart is funnier than Colbert. That is an issue I'm still torn on. It actually makes me sad when people completely disregard the fact that, for quite a while, Colbert was a correspondent on Stewart's show. Stewart came first; even if people don't find him as funny as Colbert, they should at least respect him.

But onto the books. Colbert is written more like a biography. He includes all of his thoughts and views on politics, somehow tied into his life story. Is it funny? Yes.

However, Stewart's book is the better piece. Why? It's essentially a text book that pokes fun at all the information inside itself. That's not to say it's full of only factual information. Rather, some facts are given, and jokes are interspersed. Correspondents from Stewart's show (Stephen Colbert, Ed Helms, Samantha Bee, Veronica Corningstone) all have minor segments in which the appear to provide the reader with a fun change of pace from the main body of writing. All the while, Stewart is parodying America's view of its history and the rest of the world, showing just how misplaced America's beliefs can be sometime.

10. This is harder to write than I thought.

I'm out of things to decide on. I figured I'd have plenty of material, but I'm running low. I'll try to muster up more for next time.

Actually, if anybody ever has any suggestions for things I can decide on, feel free to place them in the comments section.

11. The Killers b-sides album, Sawdust, is pretty good.


Sure, not every song is a classic. It's a b-sides album. It presents the sounds of the first two albums in contrast: "Under The Gun" would be right at home on Hot Fuss, while a track like "The Ballad of Michael Valentine" would be a perfect fit on Sam's Town.

But this shouldn't come as a surprise. These are b-sides, which are usually discarded tracks from the original albums that have appeared in different places such as bonus tracks, extra songs on singles, or on movie soundtracks. The only new and original material is "Tranquilize", which features Lou Reed on vocals as well. A few covers were thrown in ("Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town", "Shadowplay", and "Romeo and Juliet"), along with a phenomenal remix in "Mr. Brightside (Jacques Lu Cont's Thin White Duke Remix)".

Here are a few tracks I recommend you listen to:

"Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf"
"Under the Gun"
"Glamorous Indie Rock and Roll"
"Mr. Brightside (Jacques Lu Cont's Thin White Duke Remix)"

To conclude my post, "Antibodies" by Sky Larkin:



Again, if that doesn't show up for you, it will probably work here.

-brett